Text Messages From Dan

I'm going to preface this post by notifying everyone that this is sure to be a recurring segment here on Masturblog. See, when we're not making love to beautiful women or playing unbelievable guitar, Dan and I text each other a lot. Usually the texts range from hilarious to immature, and if I receive a particularly funny message from Dan, or we have a interesting back and forth, I'll post it here. Exactly as it was texted, unmodified and unedited. So without further ado...

Text messaged from Dan, received February 14th, 2008 - 4:52 pm:

"The term Baker's Dozen actually has an interesting back story. Back when the profession of baking was becoming popular, there were very strict requirements that had to be met. I won't go into the details of those requirements, save for one. You see, each baker was required to have at least a 12 inch penis. Now you see, an interesting phenomenon would take place a couple years after a baker would take up his position. After working so many hours in the hot oven areas of the shop, the baker's penis would eventually grow another inch due to the extra blood circulation caused by the heat. So, each baker that originally had a 12 inch phallus was now equipped with a 13 incher. These bakers were also widely regarded as the best bakers because their experience in the bakery was easy to see. In that way, 13 became the new dozen in the realm of baking."

- Eric.