There’s been much ado about the new Facebook, and I think now is an appropriate time for me to give my insight on the changes. In case you don’t want to hear my opinion, or upon finishing this article you do not agree with me 100%, let me know and I’ll show you where the “Remove Friend” feature is located in the new Facebook.
I’ve noticed browsing Facebook lately has been a real irritating pain in the ass. No, it’s not a pain because of the new style, it’s a pain because every day I’m forced to read how some asshole on my friends list joined some asinine Facebook group protesting the new Facebook, or they updated their status to something clever like “John Q. Douchebag is BRING BACK THE OLD FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!1!!”
I am absolutely positive the majority of these people did not even explore the new features, read the little tips, or simply try it out for more than 3 minutes before they felt the need to create/join a group, or update their status to show their hate for the new system.
Does anyone remember when a little thing called “News Feed” was introduced to Facebook? Yeah, that’s right, the front page that gives you all the Facebook updates in one nicely organized place wasn’t always there. The news feed feature was met with great opposition. I remember the groups, wall posts, (were status updates around then?) all protesting that feature. The Facebook community freaked out and everybody panicked for fear of stalking and rapes. Then it became clear that all the Facebook developers did was make the information already available to you easier to take in. Also, people eventually realized you could control what information was displayed about you. Suddenly, the panic was over and now news feed is essential. You show me one Facebook user that doesn’t love news feed and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala. The point is, there will always be growing pains, but if you actually take a step back and realize that the Facebook developers didn’t just make these changes to fuck with us, you can actually see and appreciate all the improvements.
It’s important to realize that Facebook didn’t remove any of the old features. Sure they might be moved around a little, maybe you can’t upload pictures and make wall posts with your eyes closed anymore, but all the features are still there. Instead, just like when they introduced news feed, they took the same information and made it easier to work with. Much easier than the old version.
I liked to play a fun game with the old Facebook, it was called Find My Wall. Remember when you wanted to post something on someone’s wall and instead you spent 14 minutes scrolling through pointless, stupid fucking applications? I do, and I’m still pissed. I didn’t really care for the addition of applications to Facebook, but I understand people like them, and there were a few good ones that even I tried for a while, so I was okay with it. But what I was never okay with was the person(s) on your friends list that got every fucking application possible and invited you to join them. Nothing pissed me off more than deleting the invites to 75 different applications every day. For these people (you know who you are) I wish you’d use another application… It’s called Job Application. Then maybe you can get one and quit spending all day on Facebook installing an obscene amount of stupid applications.
This was a horrible time for Facebook, as it just turned into another MySpace, minus the ability to play your shitty music and change your background. It was just a terrible cluttered mess. That was until… You ready? The new Facebook.
This new Facebook is so much cleaner and more organized than its predecessor, and it brought back the wall. For a while The Wall was buried under countless pieces of shit like “Advanced-Super-Duper-Fun-Wall” and “Which Baldwin Are You?” With the new Facebook, I know that when I view someone’s profile, the first thing I will see is their Wall, the single most important feature on Facebook. I won’t see that you scored a 96% on “Nickelback Quiz” and you’re a “Member of the Nazi Party.” Some of these applications do still exist, but they are placed on sidebars in a less annoying and obtrusive way, and most importantly they don’t cover up the Wall or take focus from the main features of the site.
There’s a reason why Facebook is growing so rapidly compared to MySpace, and that’s because the developers care enough to make changes, and will continue to make them. Seriously, when was the last time MySpace updated anything useful like the recent “People You May Know” feature on Facebook? I’m sure once these “New Facebook Haters” find a way to get their head out of their ass, they’ll realize how much more streamlined and nicer the new Facebook is and stop acting like children. I’m sure they will, because A.) They’ll realize how much better the new Facebook actually is, and B.) The Facebook developers aren’t going to change a damn thing. They know better, and they know the majority of Facebook users aren’t as narrow-minded as the simple fucks that create these negative groups.
Lastly, I’m aware this is a change, and I know it’s scary, but you’ll get through it just like you did with other big changes in your life… Like puberty. If Facebook was a male, it’d be getting some pretty good facial hair by now. If it was a girl, it’d probably be a steady C-cup. Sure, there’s going to be some acne and menstruation along the way, but we’ll all get through it together, and Facebook will be better because of it.
Clearly, it’s time for me to end this. Enjoy the New Facebook everybody.
-Eric
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